1 Corinthians 10:13

The more I think, the stronger sense of guilt grow within me. Everyday seems to be filled wit endless disappointments. My supervisor didnt wan to believe the quality and quantity of work I produced, she kept insisting that my partner did it all. Biasness and favoritism disgusted me greatly. Till one day, I spoke up for myself against her, I know she hated me. Well, my grade's at risk. Next. One of my best friends (probably one of those I'll never wanna lose in this lifetime) fell out wit me. The heavy words that came out of his mouth upsets me greatly.

So soon, within weeks, I started to compromise a life of worries and fear.
The moment my cell rings, Im prepared for bad news (esp from my supervisor). I felt mentally tortured. Crybaby manifest 2-3 times daily, depression's haunting me. Thats how bad.

The enormous frustration within, I press it deep down. I felt disgraced in His presense. "Why did you choose not to rely on God the moment your life goes wrong. Dont look for God when it rains, because you did not turn to him in sunshine days." This righteous thought got me into a worser situation. I blamed myself, shutting the voice inside me to mute. To me, even putting my circumstance to God is so tough.

It's asphyxiating, I feel like break-point is near.

Head knowledge, I know it all. Lean on him, trust him, put all your problems into His hands and He will turn things round. But I just feel unworthy. I'm contradicting myself big time. I started turning away from worshiping and praying at night, because I'm ashamed of myself.

The humongous stress of life, who understands? Everyone says they do, but they're not in my shoes. (Urgh) I need solutions. S O L U T I O N S. I dont need another ear.

Pst Tan's words is a voice of lift for me. Fortitude. Having to know the purpose behind all these, I feel much stronger in faith. The Book wit tremendous life in it is my solution. The tongues that Im speaking, is the formula to solution. Indeed, God didnt send me to enter the race, He sent me to finish the race. He will restore the friendship that was broken. He will make me the head and not the tail in my studies. He will bridge a way for me and my supervisor. I know He's never forsaken me. He's my Emmanuel.

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Cheryl came up wit the crazy idea to queue for Lee Chee Guan's BBQ pork slice. Thinking that its worth it to queue for half an hour to one, if the food is really yum, I agreed to go the the queue. So we went ahead to Chinatown during lunch break. FAINT. We saw this guy, holding this, right after Cheryl. The queue was definitely exaggerating. We were told that we've to queue for 3 -4 hours before we can carry our ba gua.



We stopped by Flesh Imp, and Cheryl tried a couple of tees.
I love this tee like Cheryl does. But the words are big wrongs..

Labels: Chinese New Year